This headline writes itself.

HAGERSTOWN, Md. (AP) — Police searching a downtown home found a man hiding 15 plastic bags of crack cocaine in his buttocks.

For a dollar.

If you’re hungry for a hotdog, you’re in luck. For only $1, I will cook you a hot dog and mail it to you. Just PayPal me a buck, and I will cook you a delicious hotdog, and then ship it to you!

2 New York Giants arrested after wrecking spree in downtown Phoenix bar. They won’t play in the Super Bowl.

Phoenix has more midgets than any other US city.

Tom Petty to play some new stuff he’s been working on during the Super Bowl halftime show.

“The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it’s only the people who make them unsafe.” - Frank Rizzo, mayor of Philadelphia

“I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.” - David Dinkins, former New York mayor

“I’m not indecisive. Am I indecisive?” - Jim Scheibel, mayor of St. Paul, Minn.

“If BS was a dollar a pound, we would have paid off the deficit at about noon.” - Rep. Jim Ross Lightfoot (R-Iowa)

“Congressmen are so damn dumb they could throw themselves on the ground and miss.” - Rep. James Traficant, Jr. (D-Ohio)

“I’m a politician, and as a politician I have the prerogative to lie whenever I want.” - Charles Peacock, ex-director of the Madison Guaranty S&L

“The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather.” - Marion Barry, former mayor of Wash., D.C.

“I’m glad I’m not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin, you never know if someone’s tape-recording what you say.” - Richard Nixon

Source.

The front page of Google images returns the following pictures for the query ‘failure’.