Where does GW keep his army?
Up his sleevie.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him “Sum Ting Wong”

A Buddhist monk, a Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest are in an orphanage when the fire alarm goes off. The Buddhist monk exclaims, “A fire! We must save the children!”
The rabbi says, “Fuck the children!”
The Catholic priest says, “No time!”

What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen.

Yeah, but whaddya call a Chinese woman with one leg longer than the other?
Irene.

What do you call a dog with iron balls?
Sparky.

What does the H. stand for in Jesus H. Christ?
Haploid.

A man walks into his kitchen with a duck under his arm and says
‘This is the pig I have been fucking’
His wife says’ That’s not a pig that’s a duck’
He replies ‘ I wasn’t talking to you’

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.

A priest and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench. A ten-year-old boy walks by.
The priest eyes him and says to the rabbi, “Boy, I’d love to screw him.”
The rabbi replies curiously, “Outta what?”

What is the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.

Skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.”

First the dodo died, Then Di and Dodi died. Dido must be cra**ing herself.

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